Changes For Better or Worse
by I took the Blond Chick Down to
Summary: It was for the best that she left, even if no one would see it that way... But what happens when Meredith comes back, and she's not the same person that they all thought they knew...?
1. Chapter 1

_**Changes: For Better or Worse**_

Disclaimer: Ok once and for this entire story. I don't own Grey's Anatomy. There I said it. Happy? Huh? HUH? That's what I thought.

A/N: This is my first Grey's Anatomy Fanfiction so I ask you to go lightly on me, I appreciate all help and really love reviews, however flames will be used for toasting marshmallows or for mocking. Also, just as a note, I am not sure at this point if there will be an present time pairings for Meredith, however if there is it will NOT be merder, I am not a fan of Derek at all, and so I only believe it is fair that I don't give you false hope. Sorry. Now, On with the show!!! (story, whatever..)

Chapter 1

_ Seattle 2007 _

It had been nearly ten years since she had left, leaving behind her friends, her home, but most importantly, leaving behind her past. She hadn't left without a word, or left in a hurried frenzy and an argument or monumental catastrophe; no, it wasn't a movie kind of end, or something you'd hear in a song at all.

It had all simply become to much, between her mother's death and Susan's, followed by her fathers abandonment for the second time, and finally Derek's giving up on her as well, it had all become simply too much. So, doing what she was best at, she approached the Chief with as much confidence as she could muster up, and demanded that he transfer her to California, that he owed it to her, and that she needed this, for herself.

He had been reluctant at first but after seeing her conviction and unwillingness to budge, he signed her transfer sheet. She spent the next week packing all her things, and avoiding her friends' looks of betrayal after she told them that she was leaving, regardless of their opinions. It had hurt at first to know that her friends, who had been there for her through so much, would not support her in what she had known for quite a while, to be the best choice for her.

Knowing they would only try to keep her here, she didn't leave a contact number and had her cell phone service stopped, and left while the others were still on shift. With a final goodbye to the Chief over the phone and a promise to contact him, she left the house and set out for her new Start.

_ Seattle Grace 2017_

"Hey George! Wait up!" Izzie raced after George who had been walking down to the staffroom for the meeting that was taking place that afternoon.

"Oh, hey where'd you come from? I haven't seen you all morning; did you leave early this morning?" He slowed down to a slow crawling pace, giving her time to catch up before greeted her with a kiss on the cheek.

"I had surgery on those twins connected at the spin, remember? So why the hurry? The meeting doesn't begin for another twenty minutes, even Christina isn't there yet!" She panted in between words, trying to catch her breathe.

"I know but the entire surgical staff is coming so I wanted to get a decent seat. Besides, what if they start early, there has to be a pretty important reason to invite the whole staff, don't you think? Oh no, you don't think the Chief is leaving do you?"

"No, I wouldn't think so, we'd have heard something by now, besides, Addison and McSteamy would have fought over it by now and god knows McDreamy would have been kissing Chief's ass in less than a minute."

"What about Burke? Maybe he's been named chief already and has been told to keep it quiet."

"No way. You and I both know that he would have told Christina, and she would have rubbed it in our faces already if he had."

"Then what could it be about?"

"Well why don't we go in and see." Pushing open the door she was surprised to see most of the staff already there, obviously having the same idea as them to be early. Off to the side of the room were Addison, Mark, and Derek, while Christina and Alex sat in the corner mocking each other, an amused Burke watching them. Dr. Bailey was at the front of the room quietly discussing something with the Chief and while the rest of the staff chatted happily amongst themselves.

Shaking her head a bit she headed over to her friends, George in tow. She was just about to ask them if they had any idea what the meeting was about when she heard the Chief clear his throat and ask them to settle down as the meeting would be starting.

"Yes, yes, can you all quiet down please? Thank You. Now, I'm sure you're all wondering what you've been called down here for, as it's not everyday that I call my entire surgical team together. However, I felt it might be best if I announced it to you all at once so there would be as little mayhem and rumors as possible."

At that point he looked pointedly over at the group of 'Interns' who had quickly looked away at each other, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Now, back to point of this get together. As you may or may not have noticed, Dr. Williamson of our neuro staff will be retiring this week, and up until this time I had no one to replace him, leaving me to believe that we would be understaffed. However, I have managed to procure an extremely gifted and capable neurosurgeon, who has agreed to join us here at Seattle Grace on a few conditions. Their first condition was to remain unnamed before their arrival as they would prefer to make as smooth a transition into our program as possible. Secondly, they have expressed a firm condition of being head of the neurology department…"

"What!? Chief you can't do that! For what? Some hotshot? This isn't right, I'm a perfectly capable--" Dr. Shepard had promptly stood up in shock, his face red in outrage.

"Dr. Shepard! Calm down and sit back in your seat. I am the chief of surgery; as such it will be MY decision of who is to be my heads. Now if you would let me finish my statement please." Giving him a hard stare he continued. "Now, it was a steep price to gain such a prestigious doctor, but I have managed to convince them to _share_ the position of head of neurology, as our fine Dr. Shepard here was not someone I wished to lose. Now, as Dr. Williamson is leaving so soon, his replacement will be arrived tomorrow afternoon to discuss some details with myself, and will be taking his place the day after. I expect all of you to treat them with the utmost respect, and to not give them a hard time. Should I hear or see any of you mistreating our newest staff member, you will be dealing with _me_. Am I clear?" Seeing a fast nod from each person in the room he finished his speech. "Good. You may go, have a good day everyone."

"Chief?"

Turning around he saw Dr. Bailey standing there looking at him with those critical eyes of hers. Her face full of curiosity and suspicion.

"Yes Dr. Bailey? May I help you with something?'

"What are you up to? Don't think for one second I'm not onto your little game. Who's the new surgeon coming? Uh uh uh uh!! Don't you tell me they want to remain secret! Do I look like I'm about to go blabbing to the nurses? No, I didn't think so. Now, who is it."

Sighing, he looked at his shoes for a moment as if remembering a phrase he had memorized. "I'm sorry Miranda, but that's not something I can tell you. You'll see her again tomorrow." With that he began to walk through the door only pausing when her heard her shout,

"Wait! What do you mean see her _again_??"

Cringing, he continued his way out the door, ignoring her question, and sighing to himself, wondering just what he had got himself into.

To be continued…

A/N: So, how did you like it? Was it good? I don't have a beta so I'm sorry if it has some errors. Anyhow, thanks for reading and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review the more you review, the more I want to update, and the faster as well ) see you next time.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Changes: For Better or Worse**_

Chapter 2

The rest of the day had passed relatively quickly, each person heading to their own surgeries or back to their homes for their day off, and before they new it, it was lunchtime the next day where they had all gathered around their traditional table eating their lunches.

"So, what do you think the new neuro attending will be like? I hope it's another cute one, we haven't had another good looking attending for a while now." It was Izzie who started the conversation, her curiosity getting the better of herself.

At this George indignantly spoke up, "Hey! What about me? I'm cute!"

"George, I love you, really, but every girl has to have their fantasy guy. Don't tell me you don't have dreams about other cuter girls-" She was then cut off by Christina.

"Barbie's got a point. McDreamy's more of a McAss, and McSteamy is McMarried, we need some fresh meat. On the bright side, even if they're a totally ugly freak, I'll never forget the look on McDreamy's face after the Chief told him he'd be sharing his head duties."

It was Alex who spoke up next. "What makes you so sure it will be a dude? Maybe luck'll be on our side and it'll be a hot chick."

"Whatever Evil Spawn... We'll find out today anyhow. Remember? They're coming in to speak to the Chief."

"Hey, maybe that's them." They turned at Izzie's comment, looking in the direction of the staff parking, to see a sleek black SUV pulling in. They all strained to see who got out of the car, try to get a glimpse of driver.

Stepping out of the car was blond woman, who seemed to be about their age. She wasn't small, but was hardly large; she was the perfect medium, with a small thin body, but curves in all the right areas. They couldn't see her face but just knowing they were female made Alex whoop, before he was smacked by a disappointed looking Izzie and Christina. They were about to look away when they noticed her opening the side door. When the woman moved aside, a small child of no more than four or five was holding her hand. The child had a fair complexion and deep auburn hair which seemed more brown, with a red tint from the sun. Seeing the child Alex groaned and mumbled something that sounded like "Great…a mommy.", as they watched the girl skip next to her mother whose posture was rather stiff and brisk, softening only when hr daughter looked up and said something to her. They followed the pair with their eyes until the two had disappeared behind the front doors of the hospital.

Looking at each other they quickly finished their lunches and made their way inside, and to the area near the Chief's office, hoping to catch a glance of them for a second time. Listening to the muffled voices from within the office they failed to notice the growing crowd around the office. Even Dr. Bailey could be seen doing 'paperwork' nearby, while Derek, Mark, and Addison were not far from the stairs. The hall quieted as the door opened and the Chief stepped out, the woman behind him.

"Yes. It is great to have you back. Now, I'll just show you to your office and then…." He trailed off as he noticed the crowed below and sighed tiredly. "Oh dear. Meredith I am so, so sorry. I warned them."

The hall broke out into excited whispers at the last statement while Christina and the others stood their numbly not really taking it in. Derek could be seen off to the side looking hurt and putting on his look of betrayal.

It was then that the woman looked over the railing down at the crowd. She did not greet them or say anything however, just sweeping the crowd with her hard gaze, her mouth pressed into a firm, hard line. She resembled the Meredith they had all known, but just looking at her you could tell that she had changed. Gone was that soft smile that had graced her feature, replaced by a stern and hardened mask. Her eyes which had once held laughter and said everything about her; seemed emotionless and cold. Even her thin frail body was gone, replaced by a healthy looking structure with muscle. She looked at the Chief with a calculating glare before finally speaking.

"You were saying Chief? I believe we were about to head to my office?" Her voice however, reminded them that this was indeed Meredith, however brisk and cold it might have sound. "I do still have to get settled, and I would like show Emily the daycare before her first day there."

Clearing his throat, and stumbling over his words he responded, "Ah yes. Of course. It's just this way. Would you like to catch up with anyone first? Mingle a little before we continue on?"

"No. I would like to continue on as I said before." Her voice, had, if possible, become even colder at the prospect of talking to anyone.

The two made their way down the stairs and through the crowd, before setting out down the corridor, the little girl still skipping next to her mother the whole way, before turning left and out of sight.

The crowd was still in shock at Meredith's return, and the changes which had so obviously occurred. Her friends still looking at each other as if it couldn't be possible. The crowd began to thin, and soon all they were all that were left. Slowly they made their way down the hall after the trio, in hopes of finding Meredith and perhaps even speaking to her.

To be continued…

_A/N: I know this was a short one, but I have to go to my cousin's graduation party so I didn't have a lot of time to write. Pleas please PLEASE give me some reviews. I'm seeing hits, favs added, but no reviews!! I could really use some comments. See you next time._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

_A/N: God, Thank you all for your reviews!!! I came home to such a wonderful surprise that I thought, heck with sleep! I'll get the next chapter up now! To answer some of your questions, no Emily is not Derek's, though you'll find out about her within the next few chapters. The same goes with Meredith's behavior, which will take a little longer for you to find out entirely about. This chapter goes out to my first reviewers: brightandshiny02, sparksfan1, kate2329, and iluvmerder._

_Chapter 3_

The group stood outside the daycare center watching the Chief, Meredith, and the daycare teacher talk, the same calculatingly cold look on her face the whole time. They couldn't here what was being said, but you could easily tell from the look on the teacher's face that she was frightened of Meredith.

"Wow." Breath Izzie, "She's so…different. And she has a kid. Oh god! You don't think it's McDreamy's do you?"

"Shut it Barbie. Look at the kid, she can't be more than five. Mere's been gone for nearly ten, and I doubt McDreamy would have kept his mouth shut if he'd seen her before now. And what did you expect? It's been a long time, did you honestly think she wouldn't change? Besides, even if she has changed, she's still Meredith, it's probably just an act for McDreamy anyhow. When she comes out we'll talk to her."

As if her words had compelled them, at that moment Meredith, the girl, and the Chief exited the room and walked up the hall, the Chief leaving the two alone at the stairs. They watch as Meredith whispered something in the girl's ear, making her smile, before they headed over to nurses station.

Before they could stop her, Christina walked towards them briskly, leaving the others no choice but to follow her. She stopped just behind the two, before lightly tapping Meredith on the shoulder. She waited a moment for Meredith to turn from her paperwork, but she just kept on writing. Christina tapped her again, this time saying "Meredith, come on, stop ignoring me. Turn around." She wasn't sure what she expected, but whatever she had, it was nothing close to what she received.

Turning around Meredith had given her a look of annoyance and disgust. "I am not ignoring you Dr. Yang. As you can clearly see I am trying to finish my paperwork so that I can leave. I see it is safe to say that you have yet to grow up. Typical. Where is your band of followers?" She looked behind Christina, and seemed satisfied once she had spotted them. "Ah, not far away as usual, I see. Now, may I ask what prompted you to interrupt me?"

"What is your problem? You come back after ten years and decide, hey I'll be a bitch to all my friends, and treat everyone like crap? As for growing up, yea I have, unlike you who haven't changed obviously. Still sleeping around with everyone? Who's this one's dad? Do you even know his name, or was he another one of your one night stands?"

She hadn't thought it possible, but Meredith's face became even more positively murderous, her eyes gleaming in anger, and her voice chillingly cold. "It is Dr. Grey, and I would appreciate it if you would remain professional, Dr. Yang. As for my daughter and my life, you know nothing about it, and it is none of your business, so kindly keep your noses out of my life. I am not your friend Dr. Yang, and have not been for a long time. The Meredith Grey you knew before is long gone and won't be coming back so I dare say it is best that you let the past go. Now, if you would be so kind, I have to be going." She turned around stiffly, and picked up her daughter, causing the little girl to drop what was in her hand, before walking towards the door.

Izzie stepped forward and grabbed the paper, and was about to bring it to the little girl when she noticed that Meredith had been stopped further up ahead, this time by Derek Shepard. Izzie winced as she saw Meredith set the girl down, when Derek approached.

"May I help you Dr. Shepard?" Her voice was even but it was hard to miss the edgy coldness in her voice.

"Meredith. I- I missed you. Where have you been? Who's the little girl?" He had run to catch up with her, and had immediately bombarded her with questions.

"It is Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepard, as I have already corrected Dr. Yang, and you will address me as such. As for whether or not you have missed me I do not care. Where I have been s none of your concern, nor is my daughter, who I assume is the little girl to which you are referring to."

"How can you say that? I thought we loved each other. And if that girl is my daughter, she sure as hell is my business!"

"Dr. Shepard, I would appreciate it if you would keep your mouth shut as you can't seem to say anything even remotely intelligent. Incase you haven't notice, Emily is only about five, so unless you have a problem doing math, you can clearly see that she is not your daughter. Though I must admit it is a fact I am extremely grateful for. As for loving each other. No, I did not love you, though I may have thought so at the time. It would seem I was mistaking lust for love, a mistake which I have corrected. Now I will be going, and unless you need me for some reason that is not related to your personal life, please leave myself and my daughter be." She had turned around to leave but he caught hold of her shoulder and kissed her hard on the lips. He had expected her to fall into the moment, remembering what it was like for them to be with one another, however he was sadly mistaken when she ripped her mouth off of his, punched him in the nose, before kneeing him in the groin, causing him to fall to the floor. It really was an entirely different Meredith.

However, what happened next was what surprised people the most. In an almost scarily fast change, Meredith's features had softened as she bent down next Emily as they had realized was her daughter's name. "Hey, why don't you and I go get some ice cream ok? Then you and I will head to Mommy's old home and we can watch a movie ok? I'll even let you pick."

The little girl looked up at her mother shyly, as her fright from watched her mother beat up Derek began to wear off. "Can I have strawberry?"

"You can have any flavor you want. If you behave on the way their, I'll even let you get a topping."

"Really?" The girl seemed to brighten at this, before hugging her mother tightly.

"Yes, now come on, let's get going or we won't have time for a movie."

The two headed to the elevator before leaving the floor entirely, leaving a group of attendings in shock, and an extremely impressed group of nurses.

It was after all this that Izzie remembered the paper she had picked up from the ground. Turning it over she realized it was a picture. There in the picture was Meredith, a bright smile on her face and her hair blowing in the wind, with Emily on her lap smiling up at her mother. It was the third person however that caught her attention. It was a tall man that stood behind Meredith his hands on her shoulders as he looked down adoringly on the two girls. He had a large grin on his face that could have lit a room. She noticed that, like Emily, he had a dark auburn hair, almost brown, and large green eyes. He was muscled but not bulky, and seemed to have a charm about him. He was actually pretty cute. She realized the photo couldn't be too old as Emily looked only slightly younger than she had just now in the hall. It was only a second later that she realized something was scrawled in the corner. '_Myself, Adam, and Emily at the Park. 2016.._' Izzie couldn't believe her eyes as looked at the picture again and again, trying to comprehend the fact that this woman in the photography, who looked so happy, was not only Meredith, but also the cold and hardened woman she had met today. Sighing sadly, she walked over to the others to show them what she had found.

To be continued…

A/N: well there you go ) that's 2 in one day! I know they are short, but I figured shorter chapters with more updates would be better than longer with fewer updates. Anyhow, keep up the reviews!! Like today, they made me want to update more and so I get 'em out quicker. So please please please, keep reviewing!!! I LOVE your comments, and appreciate your reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

A/N: Ok. Wow. I got A LOT more reviews than I expected, so I am royally psyched! I am so so sorry I did not update Sunday, unfortunately I was having a family crisis (you'll find that I'll have lots of those. It comes with having a huge family.) Anyhow, we discovered that my cousin has developed cancer, and so we had to sort out a bunch of things. Anyhow a shout out to all my lovely reviewers lisaawe, Endzi, IluvMerDer, missbrat155, Amythest Girl, brightandshiny02, and Love2LoveGreys. I'd also love to shout out to one of my FAVORITE authors, who has apparently stumbled upon my story ) gagaoverGA, who is an awesome author, I suggest you check out their story (you'll love it, I know I do), and thank her as I was so happy to hear you were reading my story and liked it ). This one goes to you. Hope you all like it D.

Chapter 4

They stood in front of her mother's old home, Emily licking away at her ice cream as Meredith took in the site, and all the memories that came with it. There had been so many good memories here; and yet so many horrible memories as well. Shaking her head she lightly tugged on her daughter's arm, leading her inside.

It didn't look any different, but it was obviously lived in still. Izzie and George must not have moved out as she thought they would have. She would have thought that something would have changed, new furniture, something. However, everything was just as she remembered it. She told Emily to head to the living room and to turn on the TV as she headed up the stairs.

Once she was on the second floor she took a look in the rooms. It would seem that Izzie and George had moved into Izzie's room, while George's old room had been emptied. She next checked out her old room, and was surprised to find it exactly as she had left it, even the sheets were unmade and her hairbrush, which she had discovered missing after she left, was still sitting on her pillow. She felt sadness wash over her, as she remembered all the things that had happened in her life since that day that she had left for California. She had never regretted leaving though. After all, if she hadn't left she would never have met Beverly, which means she never would have met Adam…._"Adam"… _and not to mention Emily. God… what would she do without Emily. She was her whole world.

She her a giggle come from down below, snapping her back into reality, as she replaced her sadness with a cold indifference, shoving the memories out of her head.

Knowing there was nothing she could do to get settled in until her and Emily's things arrived, she headed downstairs to watch TV with Emily. After about an hour of watching Rugrat's reruns, the telephone rang. Walking over to the phone she checked the caller ID, before recognizing the number. Picking it up, she answered on the fourth ring.

"Hey. I was beginning to get worried. You said you were going to call yesterday. Our things are arriving tomorrow, and you promised you'd be here by then." Meredith made sure her voice was hushed so that she didn't disturb Emily but you could hear the slight worry in her voice.

"Hey, calm down. I just got off the plane, so don't worry I'll be there to help once I have my place all settled for the night. And I'm sorry I didn't call yesterday, you know me Meredith, I just get caught up in the moment and I forget things." The voice sounded patient and understanding, though it had a slightly exasperated tone in it.

"Fine… I'm sorry. It's just… I'm going through a bit of stress, ok? They still live here Bev! That means they are going to come home, and find myself and Emily have moved in. I told you coming back was a bad idea! I told you!" Meredith was quickly becoming panicked, her voice slightly hysterical.

"Meredith, breathe. It was for the best that you came back to Seattle, you and I both know that after Adam…" Beverly's voice trailed off slightly.

"Don't you dare mention him! I didn't ask for a lecture Bev, I asked for your help!" Meredith's voice had once again regained an angry tone.

"I'm not lecturing you! And I am helping you! What do you call quitting my job, and coming to Seattle? A coincidence? No, you know I'm here for you, and you know that I will be here no matter what happens. Now, I have to go settle things with Dr. Webber, and then put my things in my apartment. I'll be over later tonight. I'll see you then." Before Meredith could respond she heard the click of the phone signaling Beverly's departure.

Letting out an angry breathe, she calmed herself. She shouldn't have gotten angry at Beverly. She was the only one who really knew her now, and understood what she was going through. No, she'd have to apologize when Bev got here. Walking back into the living room she sat down next to Emily, hugging her against her body, and kissing her gently on her hair before turning her attention to the television.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!_Seattle Grace _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The group stared at the picture in Izzie's hand, as that sat on the gurneys in the same empty hall that they had sat in since they were interns. No one had said anything yet, just staring at the photo, each one with a different expression on their face. Alex's face looked indifferent, but looking closely,, anyone who knew him would be able to see the curiosity in his eyes. George on the other hand had an expression similar to a fish, his eyes bulging slightly at the smiling Meredith in the photo. Even Izzie had a look of wonderment on her face, as she starred at the happy family. It was Christina's face however, which took the trophy. Her eyes were calculating, and her face shrewd, concentrating on the photo hard, as putting the pieces of Meredith's past together in her head. Finally she spoke up.

"She looks.. happy."

Alex was the first to respond. "Yea. But it's not like when she was here. I mean look at her. Sure she'd have her moments, but it always seemed like she had this tension, as if something was suddenly going to happen. She never seemed so….carefree."

"Way to be deep Evil Spawn. Sure you don't want to go back to psychology?"

"Shut up Christina. Alex is right. I just don't get it though. It seems like she went from our Meredith, to this carefree and happy Meredith, to the megabitch. She's a McBitch!"

"Seriously? You're Mcnaming Meredith seriously?" This time it was George who spoke.

"Well, she is… and besides, what happened to this Adam guy? Was he her boyfriend or her husband? Maybe he left her. I mean look what happened after the whole McDreamy debacle. If she had a kid with this guy…" At this Izzie whistled…

"Well I guess we'll never know. Meredith, oh I'm sorry. Dr. Grey" Christina stressed the Dr. Grey before continuing " has made it clear we are not apart of her or that kids life. Now I have a surgery, and I'm not missing it for your stupid gossiping. I'll see you later." With that Christina hopped off her gurney and headed down the hall, George scurrying after her mumbling something about it was both their surgery, not hers.

"Well, I have the day off, I'm heading to my apartment. See ya Izzie." With that Alex too headed off down the hall towards the locker-room.

"Great…" Sighing, Izzie stood up, following the other's lead, heading down the hall, wondering just what had happened to that Adam guy, and what part he played in what was surely a very extensive and complicated life of Meredith Grey.

To be continued.

A/N: So how was it? Was it good? I hope so. Now, it's up to you all to keep me coming ) So review review review!!!! Yay!!!!!!! Also, I'll be pretty busy this week, but I'll try to update much as possible. Well. Stop reading! Review I said! p


	5. Chapter 5

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

A/N: Again, sorry for the wait, I know, it's been a while since I last updated, and I am so sorry, I just ask you all be patient with me. I was so happy to see so many people reviewed, and I'd like to give a loud shout to all those who did ) I hope to hear from you all after this one as well looks at you all pointedly yea…that's right, you! Now, on to the next chapter!

_Chapter 5_

Meredith had spent the rest of the day with Emily, watching TV at first, followed by a popcorn fight in which she had been defeated by her five year old daughter. She had just put Emily to bed and was still picking the popcorn out of her hair when the doorbell rang. Looking at the clock she noticed it was already 8:30pm, and went to answer the door before Beverly became impatient. The doorbell rang again just as she turned the doorknob, causing a pang of annoyance to shoot through her. Sighing, she opened the door.

"Finally, what took you so long?" Before she had a chance to answer, Beverly stepped inside. "It's a nice place. Seems a bit large for your taste, but still, its pretty nice."

"Gee, thanks Bev. Good to see you to. My day was good, thanks for asking." Meredith's voice was sarcastic but her voice was light and joking.

Stepping towards Meredith she gathered her up in a hug before responding. "Oh please, you know I'm happy to see you, but it's only been a week. And besides, I talked to you earlier, I doubt much has changed. Now, where is my Emily-bug?"

Meredith stifled a smile at the nickname Bev had so affectionately given Emily when she was born. "I put her to bed a few minutes ago, you'll have to wait ill tomorrow to say hello." Meredith led Bev to the couch where they both sat down and Meredith let out a sigh, looking anywhere but Bev.

"So. How was your first day back in Seattle? That great?"

"It was. Worse than I expected it to be. The whole hospital was watching the Chief and me, and you should have seen them when they saw Emily. I thought their eye sockets would fall out. Then I had to set Christina and the others straight, only to be confronted by Shepard. You know, he had the nerve to act like we should 'be together' and then claim Emily might be his. I mean, seriously? Seriously!" At this Meredith let out a frustrated groan.

"What do you mean set Christina and your friends straight?"

"Just what I said, set them straight. And they aren't my friends anymore. They made that clear when I left, and besides. I don't need them… I don't need anyone."

If Beverly was hurt by that comment she didn't show it. "You need Emily."

Meredith's face softened. "I need Emily."

"You needed Adam." Beverly's voice was just a whisper, not accusing, simply as if stating a fact.

Meredith's face however, did not soften at this, but rather took on a more tortured look, before morphing back into the familiar anger that Beverly had become accustomed to. "I'm fine without him thank you. I think I've made that clear. I've told you not to mention him; he's not here is he? And I'm doing fine without him!"

Beverly's patience seemed to snap at that comment as she too grew angry. "Fine? Is that what you think this is? Fine?! Look at yourself, how much you've changed! What happened to the Meredith that was happy, the Meredith who had the patience of a Saint? What happened to her? What happened to the Meredith who was my _best_ friend?" Her voice began to crack, and tears were building up in her eyes, as she forced them back. "You are NOT fine! You get angry at everyone over the simplest things, and god forbid anyone mention _Adam-_"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Meredith's voice shrilled; her voice full of fury rather than cold indifference. She had struck a cord. "I told you I didn't want to talk about him!"

"Well apparently I don't listen that well! I don't care if you _want _to talk about him Meredith! We are GOING to talk about him! For god's sake, he was your husband, he was Emily's father!"

"He was just another guy in my life! You know what I was like before I came to California; you know how dark and twisty I was then! He meant nothing more than all the guys before him. He was just another McDreamy!"

"Do you really expect me to believe that? He wasn't just another guy Meredith! He was _the_ guy for you. I'm not an idiot; I was there when you met him, when you fell for him, when you married him! This wasn't just another relationship for you Meredith! You know I don't believe in soul mates or the whole 'love of your life' thing. But my god Meredith, if there was anyone that would have met that definition it was you two. Sure you weren't some sickeningly sweet couple, but you were everything to each other. You can't tell me that wasn't true!" She took a deep breathe, her anger fading into a desperate pleading. "I remember what you were like when I met you. But you weren't like that when you were with him. You were so happy. You danced and hung out with me and the others at the hospital. You stopped drinking so much. And when Emily came, I didn't think you could get any happier. When Adam died-"

"Shut up…" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper now, but Beverly continued anyhow.

"When Adam died, it was like you died. You became so cold, so distant. With everyone, with me! The only one you're ever normal with is Emily! I know losing him in the way you did was worst then anyone could ever imagine, but it wasn't your fault Meredith! It _wasn't your fault! _Adam wouldn't want this for you; he wouldn't want you to be this miserable woman that you've become. You said you were dark and twisty then, well what do you call this Meredith…"

"Get out." It seemed Meredith's anger had made a comeback. "I said get out! Who do you think you are, coming in and talking to me about him and telling me what was and wasn't my fault! Now get out of my house before you wake Emily." Her words were shaking with fury, but you could hear the brokenness in each crack that her voice made.

"Fine. I'll leave, but you can yell all you want Meredith, because even if I leave now, I won't leave you. I know there is still a piece of you in there somewhere, and I'm not going anywhere till you find it. I'll talk to you tomorrow." With that Beverly yanked open the door, before stepping out into the crisp, wet air and disappearing into the night.

Meredith took a long, ragged breathe, before slowly dragging herself upstairs, Bev's words echoing in her head, as she fought to shove them out of her head, just as she had done so many times before.

_To be continued…._

A/N: So how was that? I hope I did a good job on that one. Now you all know a bit about Adam. It was hard to write this chapter, but it was necessary, I'll try to update again tomorrow but I won't be home till about 10pm most likely once in the morning, but I'll try to get up early and update. If not I'll be sure to have one in Friday ) Now! Review! Press the button! You know you want to. Come on….it's like chocolate, you'll feel better afterwards p lol, please review, I'll see ya next time!


	6. Chapter 6

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

A/N:I am so so so so so SORRY. I know I promised it days ago and I totally planned to except…I didn't. Did I say I'm sorry? Anyhow thank you all for your great reviews and I hope this is up to its usual standards.

_Chapter 6_

Meredith had just laid down, her head finally resting on her soft pillow when heard the click of the door closing downstairs and the muffled voices of Izzie and George downstairs. _'Damn…' _She had thought the two were on shift till the morning. They must have gotten off early. _'Now what..,_' She had hoped to slip out before they came back and then explain it to them at a more reasonable hour. Knowing it wouldn't be good for them to just discover them there; she sat up and put her hair back into a ponytail, though sloppily if anything. It was only then that she noticed her choice of pajamas that night had been a little froggy design which she had picked to match her daughter's during one of their mother daughter shopping days. She was just about to head downstairs to talk to them when she heard a wailing come from Emily's room. "So much for talking to them about this first…" She had mumbled this under her breath in sarcasm, but her thoughts were focused more on the worry that had shot through her at the noise from her daughter's room.

She could hear the pounding of George and Izzie's feet coming up the stairs at the sound, in addition to the fast padding of her own as she ran to their room.

"Meredith!? What are you…when-" Izzie's voice was full of surprise and yet there was a hint of concern there as well. However, before she could question her Meredith had flung open the door to reveal a crying Emily, her bed's sheets thrown apart, her pillowcase on the floor the pillow itself not far away. The little girl's face was streaked with tears and she had a death grip on a ragged teddy bear in her left hand. "Emily? Em? What is it? What is the matter? Mommy's here, are you hurt?"

George and Izzie stood at the door rooted in shock as they watched Meredith checking over every inch of Emily and whirling around the room as if to find some intruder.

_Hic._ The little girl began to hiccup in between her now silent sobs. "It's gone! Mommy it's gone! Someone musta took it!" Had the she not been so distraught Izzie would have chuckled at how cute she sounded.

"What's gone? I don't see anything missing and no one's been here but you and me."

"Maybe they took it!" At this Emily had pointed to the two of them still standing in the doorway, her big green eyes brimming with tears.

"Emily what have I told you about pointing? Now apologize to them and tell me what is missing, ok?" Meredith's voice was soft yet had a firm motherly tone to it. Something that Izzie hadn't thought Meredith had in her.

"Sorry Aunt Izzie. Sorry Uncle George. But Mommy, someone took my picture. The one of us and Daddy." At the thought of the missing picture the girl's eyes began to leak fresh tears. "I woke up and it was gone, Mommy!"

Izzie and George stood there stunned at how the girl had addressed them. She knew them? But how, she was certain she had never met the girl before today.

"Are you sure you put it under the pillow?" Meredith began to rub the girls back and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Uhuh!" Emily had bobbed her head up and down ferociously before gasping. "No! I brung it with us today Mommy. I musta dropped it…" Her face crumpled in horror at this revelation.

"Brought, not brung." Meredith corrected her lightly before continuing. "I'm sorry Emmy, but it's probably in the garbage by now. Tomorrow I'll fish out a new picture for you, I promise."

The small child, however, was not put at ease. "But Mommy! Daddy gave me the picture, 'member? He said that I had to keep it safe! I don't want to make Daddy sad!"

"Shh… you would never make Daddy sad, he loves you so much, and he will always love you. Tomorrow I'll go find your picture how's that?"

The girl continued to sniffle but the tears had stopped as she nodded sadly.

Izzie gave a little oh before running down the stairs, alerting the pair to their presence again, as if they had forgotten they'd had an audience. George stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Meredith avoided eye contact with him and he was about to say something when Izzie emerged in the door way again, this time coming in and kneeling below the little girl. She held up the photography to the little girl, watching as the girl's face lit up with joy as she grasped it in her small fingers.

"Thank you!" Emily leapt at Izzie, wrapping her arms around her neck, and hugging her tightly. "I love you Aunt Izzie! Thank you!" The girl was all smiles.

Izzie felt a small smile creep onto her face. "Your welcome…Emily, right?" At the girls small shy nod she went on. "I found it on the floor earlier. It's a very pretty picture, I'd keep good hold of it. Ok?"

"Ok! I promise! Pinky swears?"

"Pink swears." The two wrapped their pinkies together and pulled causing Emily to let out a yawn.

"Come on Em. Time for bed, my little bonzo." Meredith tucked Emily back in bed, and kissed her on the forehead before turning out the light. She was about to leave the door when she turned around and whispered, "Sweet dreams and heavenly things…"

There was silence for a moment before Emily's sleepy voice came through the crack finishing the lullaby, "good night, the angel sings…"

"Love you Emmy."

"Love you too, Mommy."

Meredith slowly pulled the door shut, before taking a breath and turning to Izzie and George, her mask of indifference once again on her face. Walking past them she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her voice floated up the stairs, breaking the two out of their reverie, "Are you going to stand there all night, or are you going to come downstairs?" Her voice held no malice or sarcasm, but rather was more of a simple and yet straightforward question, holding no real emotion.

Izzie stared at George for a moment before sighing and making her way downstairs slowly, as if trying to take in all that had happened in a matter of fifteen minutes.

It took George an additional minute to snap out of it as he wrapped his mind around tonight's events as well, still trying to digest how…motherly… Meredith had been. From what he had seen at the hospital he had pegged her as being similar to Ellis, but from what he just saw, Meredith seemed to have a much different relationship with her daughter. In all honesty George hadn't thought Meredith had, had it in her to be a good mother. Meredith had always been so messed up, a constant drinker, her life always in ruins, how could someone like that possibly be a good mother? But her…she seemed so perfect at it, it seemed like it had been natural for her. Shaking his head, George hurried down the steps to catch up with Izzie. This was not a talk he wanted to miss… or did he?

_To be continued…_

A/N: Again I am so so sorry for the lack of update! I've just been so busy (I know, everyone says it. I guess people weren't always lying like I though p, just kidding). Anyhow, please RR, or for those of you like myself who are totally clueless to what that means (well I know _now_…) please read and REVIEW!! That's right! Review! Push the button people!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

A/N: Don't shoot!!!! I know it's been nearly 5 days, and I'm sorry, I know I know, I've said that before but I am! I haven't been busy, but I found this chapter realllly hard to write. It's not an important chapter really, well sorta, well why don't you just read it. p

_Chapter 7_

Meredith's heart was thumping against her chest, despite her calm exterior, as she saw Izzie make her way down the steps, George following not far behind her. When the two finally reached the kitchen she stood silent, deciding it would be best that they begin the conversation. Realizing they were waiting for her to say something as well, she turned to the coffee maker, she poured herself a cup, wanting to be fully awake. Taking a breathe she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"I would appreciate it if you could keep what you saw tonight to yourselves."

Izzie began to slowly shake her head, her expression incredulous. "That's it? That's all you really have to say?" She didn't wait for a response. "You come back after all these years, and then move back into our house without even letting us know?" Her words were aided with the wild gestures of her hand.

"My house. I may have continued to let you live here, but don't make the mistake of thinking of it as being your own. It is my house, I had no idea that you would be living here still, and I do not plan on making you leave, however, you will have to deal with the fact that I shall be living here with Emily, whether you like it or not." Meredith's voice was even, but you could hear the underlying threat.

"Oh, so that's how it is. I guess I should have expected this from you after today. I mean really, you were a cold bitch then, why wouldn't you be a cold bitch out of the hospital?" She seemed to pause here, as if readying herself for something. "You know… a part of me thought it was just an act, or that you were angry but that you would realize we were still our friends after you let out some anger. I guess I was wrong. You've changed, and I don't know why, but you've changed. I mean hell you've got a kid and we don't even know who the father is! On top of that, she seems to know who the hell we all are!"

Meredith's face darkened a bit. "Shut up. That's none of your business. You all made it perfectly clear that you didn't respect my wishes or my decisions before I left. You have _no right_ to judge me now. You don't know what my life's been like, and you have no right to know!"

"How could we know if you don't tell us? You shut us out, not the other way around!" This time it was George who spoke up, his voice full of hurt.

Meredith wheeled around on him. "That's not how I remember it. When I told you I was leaving, you all stopped speaking to me, and you lectured me on my bad decisions, on running away! None of you cared what I thought! What I knew was best for me! So don't you dare say I shut you out. It was for the best anyway. My life was ten times better once I left, I was happy! I didn't want to come back here! Do you think I came back here because I missed it? I didn't! I never wanted to set foot in Seattle again!"

Izzie's face became murderous. "Then why did you! Why did you come back if you hated it here so much?"

"Because I promised him I would!" The words had come out of her mouth so fast that it took Meredith a moment to realize what she'd said.

Izzie seemed to realize this was a slip and her anger, though still smoldering, gained curiosity. "Promised who? The Chief?" Though this seemed the most logical answer Izzie got the feeling that wasn't who _him_ was.

"Just forget it. I… I have to go to sleep, I have a spinal tap tomorrow." She had just about left the room, when she turned around. She wasn't sure what made her say what she did, maybe it was the guilt, or a way of offering an apology for the intrusion, but for whatever reason, she said it. "She knows who you are because I told her about you. You can call me heartless all you want, and maybe I am, but I'm not a liar. She knows that you used to be my friends." Izzie cringed at the words _used to_. "She grew up with her bed time stories being times from our intern year, and she knows your faces because I've shown her your pictures. You can hate me all you wish, as I won't pretend that I'm suddenly going to hug you and start sharing the secrets of my past with you. In fact, you'll probably grow to dislike me even more and that's okay. However, I expect you to treat Emily kindly, as you would any child. You don't have to give her special treatment but don't hate her because of me." Meredith seemed to trail off here before she felt it best to leave, uttering a quiet goodnight before disappearing through the doorway, the only sigh of her being the creaking of the stairs as she went.

"Did that really just happen? Because otherwise I think I had a shot to many at Joe's." George seemed to be in a stupor as he said this, absentmindedly scratching his head as he did so.

"No, that happened. She knows us George. Meredith told her about us. I mean, I figured she had just forgotten about us, and pushed us out of her mind…but she told her about us. I just don't get it though. One minute she is the coldest bitch a person can be, and the next she's Meredith…our Meredith. I can't think of anything that would make her act that way. And where is Emily's father? Meredith talked to Emily like he was here, but she seemed sad about something. Do you think he left her? She always did have abandonment issues."

George couldn't tell if Izzie was speaking to herself or to him, but thought it safest to answer honestly. "I don't know Iz. Maybe he did leave her, but if he did, then why doesn't Emily act like it? She seems old enough that she would realize what happened. I mean look at…." He seemed to stop here. "Maybe he did leave. I mean Emily is the same age as Meredith when her father left, maybe that brought back a lot of memories? Or maybe the way that he left her?"

"I hadn't even thought of that." Izzie seemed a bit ashamed at that thought.

"God…that poor kid. Poor Meredith…" breathed George.

"Yea… poor Meredith." Izzie agreed, though her mind was obviously somewhere else.

The two stood there for a few minutes more, quietly discussing Meredith and Emily, before deciding it would be best to head to bed, and then discuss it more with the others tomorrow at the hospital. Trudging up the stairs the two made it to their bedroom before lying down to sleep together. Izzie dozed off quickly, however before George fell asleep, he knew, as much as he wanted to put it off to his imagination, that he heard crying coming from the room next door, though he had to strain to hear it after a few seconds. Stepping out of bed careful not to wake Izzie he made his way to Meredith's doorway. It was open a crack, closing it all the way having not been on her mind. He was careful not to make a sound as he looked in. What he saw made his heart break.

There on the bed lay Meredith, her body covered by her comforter up to her shoulders, which were shaking silently as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was holding a picture in her hand, it was a larger copy of the one Izzie had shown them earlier. He saw her whispering something very quietly to the picture, he had to strain to hear anything, and even then he only caught snippets.

"Why did you leave us….. I never should have agreed…. It's all my fault…..It's all my fault, Adam…"

Feeling ashamed at himself suddenly for breaking her privacy he slowly and as quietly as possible made his way to his and Izzie's room again. Laying back down softly Izzie muttered sleepily, "Where did you go?". He thought about telling her what he saw, but couldn't bring himself to share such a private moment and simply replied, "The bathroom." He didn't receive a reply, although her heard her give and 'oh' sound as she turned over and snuggled against him. He put his arm around her as he stared at the ceiling, willing it to give him an answer and begging for sleep to give him a reprieve of the thoughts that were now swirling in his head.

_To be continued…_

_A/N:_ Sooooo How did you like it? Was it ok? Was it good? This was a hard chapter, like I said, for me to write. Yet still necessary. Now! Press the pretty purple button. GO ahead. PRESS IT!!! Review please ) I love em all and I need some inspiration ) So review review review!!!


	8. Chapter 8

_**Changes For Better or Worse**_

A/N: Ok I tried to get this up sooner than normal to please you. ) I also want to let you know that I know that this is going slowly, but It will begin to pick up pace, however things need to happen first before the rest can come. Also, where are my reviewers? You are all missing ( I miss you guys!!!!!!!! Come back!!!!!! Ok, now on with the show. p

_Chapter 8_

The next few days pasted with relatively no incidents, surprisingly. Izzie and George had both still been sleeping when she had woken up the morning after the first night, and they seemed to have spread the word to Christina and Alex that they should leave her alone. Even the rest of the hospital had left her alone, though they still threw her glances whenever she wasn't looking, or rather, when they thought she wasn't looking.

The only thing that bothered her was that Beverly wasn't talking to her at the moment, obviously still angry at her from the last encounter, she hadn't even talked to her in the hospital, which she had joined as well, though with much less uproar. However, if Bev thought she was going to apologize, then she was sorely mistaken. Bev had overstepped her boundaries and she had no idea what she was going through. Right? But then again… she needed someone to talk to, to confide in….even if she knew she couldn't tell Bev everything. Heck she hadn't even told her one of the most important things to her…. She just couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. It was times like these that she wished she still had Christina…. No! no, she couldn't think like that. Christina was in the past, just like everyone else.

Shaking her head she focused on the road, before turning into her driveway. "Em, we're home…." When she got no response she turned to find a sleeping Emily, her head lying on that same ragged old teddy bear that she carried everywhere. She sat there for a moment, watching her sleep, wishing that she could fall asleep into that same problem free land of dreams. Realizing she had been sitting there for a few minutes and the car was still running she shut off the engine and walked around to pick up Emily. With Emily in her arms still sleeping she made her way to the porch only to notice a large plastic container next to the door.

Opening the lid a bit she realized with a pang that it was all her home movies. She had asked Bev to bring them as she didn't want them getting lost in the moving process or left behind. Bev must have dropped them off, but why didn't she…. At this thought she noticed a note lying on top of one of the movies.

_Meredith,_

_Here are the movies you asked me to bring, I forgot to bring them last time I came. Listen, I'm sorry about that night, I didn't mean to upset you, I guess I was just agitated from the flight. You know I hate flying. You're not home at the moment, so I suppose I'll see you at work. Give Emily- Bug a hug for me. Beverly _

Folding the note and placing it in her pocket, (with a bit of trouble mind you, she was still holding Emily), she closed the lid and heading inside, deciding it could wait until tomorrow, as she was to tired to bring it in now. Once inside she immediately headed upstairs, helping Emily change and putting her in bed, before falling asleep herself, never hearing the doorbell ring an hour later, followed by a crisp knock.

_**Outside the House**_

Derek stood outside the house, a scowl on his face as no one answered the door. She wasn't on call, so he knew she must have come home, but no one was answering. His mind flew back to the embarrassment he felt when he had recently encountered Meredith, and the anger he'd felt years ago when she left him… _him! _Anger coursed through him, and all he could think of was the need for revenge.

Sighing he stepped back, only to trip over a large plastic container. His curiosity getting the better of him he lifted the lid, looking inside.

"Home movies..?" Realizing he had said this out loud he looked around to see if anyone heard him. No one was there, good. Looking back inside, he ruffled around some of the videos, when one caught his eye. _Adam and Meredith Don't Watch._ He grabbed the tape. This was his chance, it looked like Meredith had made a stupid sex video and now, he was going to use it against her! But not just yet, no if he used it to soon she'd know it was him, maybe if he waited a while, after she forgot about the movies, then he could play it. Besides, she'd probably blame one of her ex-friends. She'd never expect him. Stuffing the movie into his jacket, he shut the lid carefully moving the movies back into place, and walked quickly back to his car before zooming off, his mind going over how he was going to use the tape against her.

_To be continued…_

_A/N: Short chapter I know, sorry ( This was still a very necessary chapter, as it will play a very important part in the story, as I'm sure you can guess. Anyone, please send me some reviews, the more I get the more I want to update! I only got 3 reviews last time and I was really disappointed to say the least (. I need your input, and I need your reviews, I guess I'm hoping you are all on vacation p. Well please review, please please please!!!!_


	9. Chapter 9

_** Changes For Better or Worse**_

_A/N: I am so so so so so sorrryyy!!! I have no excuses, but I am SO SORRY!!! I was on vacation (well, sort of.) and only just got back!! Hope this ones, okay, though I promise the next chapter is what you've all been waiting for!_

_Chapter 9_

As the next month passed the tension in the hospital was slowly becoming unbearable. Meredith hadn't talked to nor seen Derek unless they had a case together, which, for some reason she wasn't sure of, made her feel uneasy. If that wasn't enough, her former friends couldn't seem to make up their minds about her. One moment they were short with her and rather edgy, the next moment they would be looking at her as though they just wanted to run up and hug her. And to top it all off, the "Nazi"…

'_Dr. Bailey.'_

She mentally corrected herself for referring to the woman's nickname that she too had once called her. Well, to top it off, Dr. Bailey had been giving her dirty looks the entire time since she had arrived back in Seattle. Honestly, she couldn't help but feel a bit offended by these stares, as she couldn't remember having had or made a grudge with the small but intimidating doctor.

It was a Friday morning just as Meredith was scrubbing out of a six-hour surgery, when she was filling out a char in the main nurses station, (_'Why does everything always have to happen here?'_), when she finally snapped. Bailey had been snappish throughout the entire surgery and was now staring ('_more like glaring_') at Meredith from across the station. Snapping her head up, she viciously grabbed her charts and strode over to the squat doctor in four long but quick steps.

"_What_?" Her voice was calm, yet held a distinct snappishness. The nurses' heads jerked towards them along with most of the surrounding people, having not seen someone address Dr. Miranda 'The Nazi' Bailey, in such a way.

"_Excuse me_? May I help you Dr. Grey? Is this about Mr. Johnson's surgery?" Her voice however made it clear that she knew what this was about.

"You know very well, what. Stop playing dumb, it doesn't suit you."

"Well apparently I don't know, why don't you enlighten me." Bailey's eyes narrowed in agitation.

"You've been giving me dirty looks since I've arrived here, and you make it very clear that you have something to say so spit it out. From what I remember you were always one to speak your mind, so speak up."

By now a small crowd had grown, waiting, and hoping, that the Nazi would show up the notorious Dr. Grey. Among those watching were two certain blond and Korean women.

At being addressed with such little respect Bailey seemed to puff up a bit and regained her voice. "Who do you think you are? Do you think you're special or better than us? Then those friends of yours?"

"They are no longer my friends, as I believe I have made that clear to them." Interrupted Meredith, though she was once again cut off.

"Shut your mouth Grey, I'm not finished! You come back here after ten years, not one, not two, but ten years, and you act all high and mighty! You've become a cold bitch," a few people seemed surprised at her bluntness, but Meredith was unfazed, "and you don't care who you step on, even if they used to be your friends, or your family. You've become the woman you used to resent so much, you've become your mother. A cold, heartless woman, and I pray, oh I pray to god that the father of your little girl, supposing you know who he is, comes and takes her away from you, cause her life will be nothing but miserable, just as yours was, if she stays here with you. You don't get to hate us, you left, you are responsible for any hell that there is in your life, not us! Try treating us with respect instead of a cold shoulder, or at least remain professional. You need to remember who you are and your place." With that she began to walk away, feeling she had gotten her message across and put the blond doctor in line, as she had with every other doctor in this god forsaken hospital. After all, she was _Dr. Bailey_, she demanded respect, and she was given it.

However, Beverly, who had stumbled upon the confrontation after their loud voices had awoken her from the on-call room, winced as she listened, knowing what the woman had said would strike a chord with Meredith, that even she, would never have touched, though the doctor did so unknowingly. She turned to Meredith who had been standing quietly there for a moment. As Bailey turned around however, looking so smug you'd have thought she'd won a boxing match, Meredith's voice rang out loud and crystal clear over the crowd.

"Who is the one acting high and mighty now? I know who I am. I am Dr. Meredith Grey, Co-Head of Neurology, and was fifth best in neurology by my fourth year of residency, while I currently hold third at the moment. I don't believe myself to be above anyone else here; we are all the best of the country in my eyes, and I know for a fact that Dr. Yang is arguably my greatest competition here. It would seem it is you who forgets their place Dr. Bailey."

If looks could kill, Dr. Bailey would have been six feet under by now with the glares that Meredith was throwing her way.

"You are not my boss anymore you are simply my co-worker, which has yet to earn my respect. As for remaining professional, I don't believe I have acted otherwise. I have given no one special treatment or treated anyone differently. Each person in this hospital is treated the same by me, even if you look only in their direction." Her she nodded in Izzie and Cristina's general area. "And if your some reason you feel I am an incapable mother, bring it up with child services; I am sure they will correct you. As for her father, he will not becoming to take her I assure you. You may look at me and see my mother let me correct you in letting you know that you know _nothing_, absolutely _nothing_, about myself, or my daughter, nor does anyone in this room. " She seemed to finish here and took a few steps, but then halted and said, without turning around, "You may demand every doctor's respect in this hospital, but you will have to earn it from me. " Her voice was quiet, but audible. She then turned on her heel and walked through a door that lead to one of her patient's rooms."

Dr. Bailey, feeling told off, grabbed a chart to busy herself with. Noticing everyone's stares still on her, she barked out in her usual gruff manner, "Get! Don't you people have jobs to do?" With that and a flurry of movement she looked back down at the chart mulling over her previous argument with Meredith.

Within the hour the entire hospital knew of the 'Bailey vs. Grey' confrontation, as they were calling it. When this knows however, reached a certain dark haired, blue-eyed neurosurgeon, it set off a silent alarm in his head. '_It's time to set Meredith in her place._' He thought as he stared at the date circled in red on his calendar schedule, while he sat in his office.

'_Hospital Meeting. 8am-10am. Tuesday. All to attend in theater Auditorium. Approx. 2 hours.'_

They were supposed to go over the year's cases to see what needed to be changed. Everyone would be there. Except Meredith, that he would make sure of. Only this year, the hospital would be reviewing an entirely different show, and Meredith would be _humiliated_…

_To Be Continued…_

A/N: Again I am so sorry for the wait! I'll do my best to get the next one up quicker!!! I promise!!!!! Though it will most likely be a 2 to 3 parter, not a single chapter. Please REVIEW!!! I need em to keep me going, I almost thought what's the point and stopped so please please give me some reason to continue!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

_**Changes for Better or Worse**_

_Chapter 10_

_A/N: Ok. You hate me. I know. I am SO SO SO SORRY!!! I won't make excuses…except my dog almost died…and college applications…and tons of school work…and getting a job…and being extremely lazyyyyy…. Ok ok, no more excuses.. I promise. Here is the chapter you have all been waiting for. Remember to review though!! Oh finally. This goes out to Galover who inspired me to get of my lazy err…butt.. And write out this chapter. Heres to you! ) And on with the show!!!_

_Chapter 10_

With a sigh and a brush of her hands Meredith tucked a stray stand of hair behind her ear as she tiredly gazed at her chart. _'Great…'_ She had been on her way to the meeting that was scheduled only to discover that some idiot had scheduled a surgery for that morning meaning she would most likely miss it. Sometimes she just couldn't understand how some people could be so incompetent. She couldn't exactly tell the patient that they couldn't get surgery because she had to go look over their past mistakes. Yea. That would go over real well…. Placing the chart back she quickly placed her hair in a quick and sloppy bun before scurrying off to OR hoping she'd at least get to see part of the meeting

Derek stared at the doors as he watched people slowly filtering in. Nurses, interns, fellow doctors and surgeons, even the chief. Good. Everyone was coming. He slowly crept up to the booth that held the projection equipment. Taking out the video from a small bag that he had underneath his jacket he inserted it into the machine. Taking out a piece of a pen he jammed the ejection area so the tape wouldn't come on before breaking the on/off switch off in his hand. Thankfully it was connected straight to the wall so unplugging wouldn't be an issue. Turning around he locked the door before jamming that as well, take no chances he always said. He wasn't about to let them turn off video half way through, that would ruin the fun! He only wished he'd been able to view it beforehand, but he'd been swamped with emergencies. Shrugging he figured that even a small thing would be well worth it. No one would respect her anymore, he was sure of it, and then, then she would leave. Hurrying back he took his seat among the now full auditorium, the only controller in his pocket ready for the show to start as the chief began his speech.

"Welcome everyone! I know it's hard to believe that it had been an entire year already, but it's time to take a look over our yearly cases to see how we can improve. Will someone please turn on the video and shut of the lights?"

As the lights dimmed Derek pressed the on button in his hand he waited for the screen to show. However the sight that greeted him shocked him just as much as the rest of the audience. He heard Richard yelling for them to turn it off and then muffled voices replying they couldn't in return. The chief began yelling for the room to evacuate please, but no one stood, like Derek's their eyes too were on the screen, like magnets. Towards the back a few pair of eyes were watching the screen even more closely while another pair of eyes watched in horror as she realized what was playing. What the audience was about to see. _Oh dear god. ..Meredith is going to die of she sees this..._. Before he knew it the rest of the world was cut off as he took in the sight before him…

_The setting was obviously in a café of some sort, not large, but rather homey looking. A woman's voice came over the speakers "Oh come on Meredith, just go say hello. Who knows... that may be your future husband. Soul mates! Destined to be! I can see it now.."_

_The view suddenly shifted to Meredith's face who was looking at her amusedly. "Oh yea, sure. Because you know, everyone meets their soul mate in a run down café.."_

"_Hey, you never know…" Meredith gave a snort, and the view suddenly shifted as a pair of legs came to stand next to her. The view shifted up a bit to show a young man of around 30 with shaggy auburn hair and bright emerald -like eyes and a sloppy grin plastered across his face that, while not quite charming, seemed to fit him perfectly._

"_Hi, I'm Adam." His eyes crinkled a bit as he smiled a bit wider and offered his hand._

"_Meredith." She was smiling slightly, her mouth quirked up in a bit of a smirk as she tightly squeezed his hand._

"_So what's a guy to do when he meets a pretty lady if he wants to see her again?" He was obviously trying to play it cool however as he finished his sentence he took a step forward spilling coffee all over Meredith._

"_Oh my god.. I'm so sorry…I- I uh…I'll pay for your shirt…god this wasn't supposed to go this way…" He was handing her napkin after napkin as she sat there. After a moment she began to laugh her gigglish way before finally calming down enough to talk. _

"_It's alright. Seriously."_

"_God I'm such an idiot.. You must think I'm a moron.."_

"_No. But if it helps, I wouldn't mind spending time with a moron."_

"_Really? I well, I actually have to go but here is my number…"_

_He quickly scribbled something down before getting hers and then running out the door.._

_The scene blacked out before changing, it was still obviously in the café but instead of a summer day the windows showed snow falling lightly._

_The camera zoomed in a bit, and when the blurriness faded you could see Adam and Meredith sitting in the middle of the café, the side of the doorframe blocking the other half of the café, giving the impression that the person taping was hiding. Adam took her hand and knelt down, wearing his ripped jeans and t-shirt in all his glory._

"_Meredith, when I first met you, I saw a woman who was beautiful, and had an amazing laugh and I thank God and whoever the heck is up there that I spilt that coffee on you, because if I hadn't I would have been missing out on probably the best thing that has happened in my life. You. I know you said you were dark and twisty, but I just want to know if you'd be willing to make me bright and shiny and do me the honor of marrying me?"_

"_I guess." Despite the wording you could hear the happiness practically pouring out of her, her face however smiling widely and her eyes sparkling as she jumped up and hugged him._

"_Do you remember the time I told you I loved you?" His voice was quiet._

"_Yes." _

"_Well, I love you." It was as if it were almost a ritual, the two gazed at each other, her arms around his neck before they kissed lightly, almost chaste. It was obvious how much they loved each other. _

_The screen blacked out once again to show a new background. This time it was of a garden, with rows of people seated in white chairs while a bride and groom stood at the front under a ceiling of lavender flowers. The minister was talking softly but no one was paying attention. All eyes were on the pair. The groom was grinning from ear to ear in his tux, his eyes on the woman before him in all her glory. The view shifted to show Meredith. And what a sight it was. She stood there in a white dress that was fitted loosely along her body with a halter top and it cascaded down into a small train that swirled lightly around her. Her smile couldn't have been brighter. It was a smile no one had ever seen before, a smile that reached her eyes. Quietly the voice of the minister came asking them to repeat their vows. Adam began first._

"_Meredith. You are my world. There is nothing and no one else that could have possibly made me happier than you have these past two years. I know you've had a hard past, and I know that it isn't going to be an easy future, but I know that no matter what happens, as long as I have you by my side, none of that will matter. I love you Meredith. Plain and simple. I love you." He hadn't stopped smiling the entire time but you could hear his voice getting emotional and thick._

_Meredith took a deep breathe. She had never been great at big speeches._

"_The first time we met, I was dark and twisty. I had only come to California a month before and I was ready to be miserable. I had left my friends, my family. But I don't regret it. You are the one person in this world who makes me want to be happy. Who makes me think that true love and fate and soul mates, all that fairytale crap exists.."_

_There were a few laughs from the audience at this._

"_I don't care what happened, or what will happen Adam, not as long as you are here. I love you, and nothing will ever change that."_

_The minister quickly finished the ceremony and pronounce them husband and wife. The two grabbed hands sharing a glance at each other before making their way down the isle._

_The scene had changed to a different background this time. After a moment the camera was directed at the dance floor as she slowly danced with Adam. The view shifted as the camera was turned and Beverly's face came into view._

"_Hey Mer, this goes out to you and Adam. Congratulations!!!!" This was accompanied by wild hand movements and the camera shaking as she did a small funky dance. "My gift to you is this video, I am going to videotape the rest of your life! Stop groaning. You know you'll appreciate it. So get ready for me to invade your private life. I'm coming on the honeymoon! Just kidding! Anyways…lets see what you are up to..."_

_The camera shifted once again, showing the couple slowly waltzing her head resting on his shoulder and his head on hers as he breathed in the scent of her hair which was lightly cascading down her back in loose curls. Both their eyes were closed and a small content smile on Meredith's face._

_The scene quickly changed once again, this time showing what was obviously the entrance to a hospital._

"_Hey you!!!" The camera was pointed at a doctor whose back had been turned and was filling out forms. "Hey Ms. New Attending!!! Congratulations!!!!"_

"_Hey Bev." Meredith gave her a bright smile, seeming greatly amused as she continued to fill out her chart. Moments later she was approached by a few other people, most wearing nurse's outfits or an apron signaling the coffee cart workers._

"_Hey Meredith. Me and the guys just wanted to say congrats and….." He took out a large coffee and a small cake from behind his back "this is for you!!"_

"_Awe, you guys didn't have to do that." She quickly took a sip of her coffee before blowing out the candles on the cake._

"_Ahaha! Now you have to do the dance!" The group began to clap as Meredith set down her coffee._

" _No. No way." She was laughing as she quickly shook her head._

"_Oh yes you will." Adam's voice came over the video. The camera quickly point to him who was dressed in scrubs with teddy bears on them signaling he had come from the Pediatrics ward. "You know the rules Meredith. You drink the coffee. You do the dance!  
He laughed heartily and gave her a smile. Soon you could hear the YMCA music playing from a small ipod player that one of the workers had and Meredith had begun to do the YMCA and then did a funky dance with the wave and wiggling. The group let out a laugh as she danced, she herself laughing as she got down and 'boogie with it'._

"_Ok guys, I have to go meet Ehrin! My fellow __**attending**__." She stressed the word attending as she danced her way down the hall after quickly kissing a laughing Adam on the cheek._

_The camera bobbed up and down as the person followed her down the hall. Bev's voice soon came over the video again, her voice mimicking the crocodile hunter…"Now here's a rare sight.. The rare, the ultimate, never before caught on video, wakawaka dance!" The camera was showing Meredith and another woman, who could only be Ehrin, doing an odd handshake of some sort. The two began to 'pound it' and shouted an "Oh Yeaaaah." That seemed quite un-Meredith-like before the two began to crack up laughing._

"_I'll see you later Ehrin!"_

"_See ya Mer! Good luck on your craniotomy, __**attending**__!!!!." Meredith laughed before the screen faded to black._

_The hospital scene faded and they were soon replaced with what looked like a New Years party at someone's home as people with party hats on walked by holding drinks. Suddenly you could hear chanting…_

"_10…9…8…7...6…5…4…3…2…….1……. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!"_

_The camera swiveled around to find Adam holding Meredith in his arms as He leaned down and kissed her and she leaned up to meet him. She whispered something in his earn quickly before looking down smiling. He seemed to stand there a moment, staring off into space before a large smile made its way across his face. He quickly picked her up and twirled her around before kissing her. Grabbing her hand and pumping it in the air he grabbed everyone's attention. "Hey everyone!! Hey quiet down!!!" The room hushed for a moment turning to look at them. "We're having a baby! I'm gonna be a Dad!!!" Shouts filled the room in an uproar and people quickly began to congratulate the happy couple. The camera quickly zoomed in as he hugged her, her back against his stomach and his hands on hers, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I didn't think you could make me any happier.. God I love you.."_

"_I love you too…"_

"_Bev!! Did you get the pickles?"_

_The camera soon came into focus, showing the kitchen of the same home as before._

"_YES!!!" Bev's voice shouted, before more quietly saying "I have to get this on camera…" The camera pointed towards a sandwich, as a hand grabbed it and picked it up. "Pickles, onions, lemon juice, sushi, sloppy Joes, and ketchup all on rye bread… that kid sure has odd tastes…"_

"_Are you videotaping my sandwich?? Hey no! You do not get to videotape me like this! I said no!" The camera had moved from the sandwich to an obviously pregnant Meredith, who looked rather cute with her small body and her swollen stomach that resembled a beach ball. She quickly grabbed her sandwich and waddled out of the room, but the camera quickly caught up as Meredith carefully sat on the couch._

"_Oh no! You can't escape! I want to see you eat this!!"_

_Meredith gave her a look before reaching out to sandwich. Just as she was taking a bite however she stopped and grabbed her stomach. "Ow…"_

"_Meredith? Are you okay?" The camera was set on the entertainment center and Bev came on camera as she rushed to Meredith._

"_I think I'm in labor…" Her voice was calm but her face was a picture of horror "Bev I'm in labor! Oh god… oh god.." Her voice quickly became panicked…_

"_Hey, hey… it's ok. You were due in another week anyhow, it's all okay. Think like a doctor."_

"_Think like a…Are you frieken kidding me!? I'm in labor and you want me to think like a god dam doctor!? Seriously?" Her voice quickly became angry._

"_Wow those hormones came fast." She quickly helped Meredith up. "Let's get you to the hospital!" She quickly shuffled a moaning Meredith out of the door grabbing the suitcase at the entranceway, the door shut. Moments later it opening as Bev rushed in grabbing the camera."_

_A waiting room quickly took up the screen showing a frantic Adam running up the hall._

"_Where is she? Am I too late? Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Oh my god its not twins is it?? I'm not ready for twins…we only have enough for one…oh god…."_

"_Adam. Calm down. She's still in there. You aren't late. The baby is taking forever.. Must have gotten your genes.. And its not twins! So stop freaking out and go in there!"_

"_Right…right" Adam took off through the door and the picture went blank._

_The screen quickly took the form of the happy couple with the newest addition. A tired and haggard looking Meredith was holding a small pink bundle with auburn tufts of air as it slept and beaming, while Adam was sitting next to her stoking his wife's head in a daze his eyes staring at the bundle a crazed grin across his face._

"_Hey there beautiful… Have you picked a name?"_

_Meredith looked away, tearing her gazed from the little girl towards Bev's voice._

"_Emily. Emily Cristina Grey-Mathews."_

"_It's a beautiful name, and for such a beautiful little girl." The voice was soft so as not to wake the sleeping newborn._

"_Bev…I wanted to talk to you…"Meredith looked hesitant, and almost sad._

"_It's ok, Meredith. I understand." She looked up startled._

"_But…I haven't said what I-"_

"_You want to name Christina godmother. It's ok. After all I get to be the Aunt who spoils the munchkin." The voice was understanding and happy as ever while Meredith gave a smile small looking down at Emily quickly before gazing back up._

"_Thank you Bev."_

"_Don't have to thank me. It's what I'm here for."_

_The happy couple quickly resumed their earlier position, where a now awake Emily had grabbed hold of Meredith's finger as Meredith began to cry tears of joy. The camera faded to give the new family some privacy._

_The scene changed to the picture of a now older Emily wearing a princess tiara on her head that said 'First Birthday". She had cake on her face and Meredith and Adam were on either side of her with cake on their faces making faces at eachother. The two grinned at each other before grabbing some cake in their hands and smearing it on each others faces even more. The baby laughed as it placed its hands back into the cake and giggled , jumping slightly as she did so. Everyone laugh and presents were soon opened._

"_Happy First Birthday Emily" _

_The scene once again adopted a new view this time in a park. A now older Emily of around 3 was being pushed on the swing set by her father as Meredith sat next to her on a different swing blowing bubbles. The little girl quickly got off before taking off her father chasing her before catching up and tickling her in the grass._

"_Mommy!!! Help mommy! Daddy's ahhh!!!" She was cut off by another round of giggles as Adam began to tickled her again.._

"_I'm sorry Emmy! But if I remember correctly you told me you were a big girl this morning and that big girls don't need Mommy's help!" Meredith smiled and shrugged as Adam laughed 'evilly._

"_Please Mommy!!!"_

"_Oh alright-ahhh!" Adam had quickly turned on Meredith and tickled her Emily joining in as Meredith went into a fit of laughter._

"_Traitor!!" Was Meredith's response as she finally caught her breathe._

"_I love you Mommy." The girl gave her mother puppy eyes and she soon relented before pulling her on her lap._

_The scene didn't change but it was obviously later in the day as the sun was setting and Emily came on the screen._

"_And how are you Ms. Emily?"_

'_Goooodd…"_

"_Where are Mommy and Daddy?" Emily pointed towards the lake where the two were sitting._

"_Ewwww gross they are kissing!!!" Emily giggled at Bev's 'immaturity'._

"_They always do that…" _

"_Oh yea??"_

"_Uhuh!!! They do!! See? Look!" Emily once again pointed in her parent's directions._

_Sure enough as the camera moved Adam and Meredith could be seen sitting next to each other his arm around her watching the sunset kissing each other. They broke apart before she laid his head on his shoulder. The camera moved back to Emily._

"_Hey Emily. I'll tell you what. I'm going to give you the camera for a while ok? That way, you can capture some icky moments and we can use it as blackmail. Ok?"_

"_Ok!!!"_

'_I've taught you well. Now lets get some ice cream!!" The camera switched off._

_The picture that showed next was once again of Emily, possibly a year older the room around her dark… she camera jiggled as she tried to hold onto it, and the screen showed stairs as she obviously tried to make her way downstairs. Voices were heard and the camera stopped moving. You could hear crying and sniffles._

"_It's not fair. It can't be right, Adam. I won't believe it." Her voice was cracking and you could hear Meredith's distress._

"_I had them check it three times. You know what this means Meredith. There is only one option."_

"_I know. I just, how am I supposed to trust someone else to do this… what if something happens?"_

"_I wish I could tell you that nothing will happen. That everything will be okay. But I've never lied to you Meredith, and I'm not going to start now. As for who does the surgery. You will."_

"_You can't be serious. How do you expect me to do it? "_

"_I am serious. You are the best. I know you. You are the only one who could do this."_

"_Adam. Come on. Think about this. It's only been done successfully once-"_

"_Which was by you-"_

"_Adam, this isn't any surgery. You are having a tumor removed that is placed so delicately in your brain that if I make one mistake, or you react badly, you will die…"_

"_Meredith. You are the only one I trust enough. Please. Think about it."_

"_I'd never forgive myself if something happened…"_

"_Then don't let something happen…"_

"_Fine…" _

_The screen faded._

As Beverly sat in the audience the only thoughts going through her mind as she saw the scene finish was of absolute horror. She knew what was coming next and she just prayed to god that Meredith didn't get here.

OR 2.

The surgery was a success. Her patient had pulled through and with enough time for her to get to the end of the meeting. Letting out a sigh Meredith brushed away a bead of sweat that was making its way down her face as she rushed towards the auditorium. Entering the auditorium she was not prepared for to hear her own voice echoing back at her. As the screen faded to black she watched in horrid fascination as the screen brought up the one thing she had been avoiding, the one moment that had brought her entire world crashing down…

_The blurry screen took a moment then it soon adjusted. It was the room of an OR. An intern adjusted the camera so that it showed Adam and Meredith and where she would be working. Meredith was scrubbed in and Adam was prepped, all that was needed was for him to be put under._

"_Can you please give me a moment alone. Thank You." As the room emptied Meredith kneeled next to Adam who turned his head to face her. "I can't believe you are having me tape this."_

"_Eh. I'm the exocentric type. I want to watch it when your done." It was said jokingly but he had a sad look on his face. "Meredith, if I don't-"  
_

"_Don't. Don't you dare. You are going to get through this. You don't get to leave me, to leave Emily. You don't.. Promise me you won't."_

"_Meredith I can't-"_

"_Promise me! Promise me damnit!" Meredith was in near tears at that point her eyes glistening._

"_I promise you that I will always love you and Emily. I promise I will always fight to be with you and that I will always be with you. Now you promise me something."_

"_What?"_

"_If something should happen, promise me you'll go back to Seattle. That you'll make up with those friends of yours. Promise me."_

"_I promise."_

"_Good. Hey. You remember the first time I told you I loved you?" She laughed and a tear fell and she smiled._

"_Yes."_

"_Well I love you." She kissed him on the lips and looked at him as if trying to remember his every detail._

"_I love you too."_

_The surgery team soon entered and Adam was put under, all the while holding her hand. The screen began to fuzz out a bit…_

"_Is it working again?" It was Meredith's voice as she slowly came into view, Adam still on the table._

"_Yes Dr. Grey. It just needed new batteries." It was an unknown voice, most likely an interns._

"_Good, he wouldn't want to miss the entire-" Beeeeepp! Meredith's head shot up looking at the monitor. She quickly rushed over ordering them to charge the paddles._

"_Charge to 400!" SLAM! Beeeeep…._

"_Charge to 500!" SLAM! Beeeeep…._

_Over and over Meredith tried to start the heart, but the steady beat of a heart never came._

"_Dr. Grey… I think you need to announce time of-"_

"_I think you need to get the hell out of my OR!!! Don't tell me how to do my job!" She pushed the scrub nurses and the interns away and began manually try to restart his heart. "1…2….3" "1…2….3…" _

"_Dr. Grey…"_

"_I said SHUT UP!" Her voice cracked and tears filled her eyes as she tore off her scrub cap and mask before continuing. "Come on Adam! You promised you'd fight. Please…don't give up…"_

"_We need to take her out of here…" A doctor tried to grab Meredith to pull her away, but she quickly tore her arm from him and punched him across the face. A few more doctors grabbed a hold of her and dragged her away from Adam's body before a voice called out to shut off the camera. The screen blackened._

Meredith stared straight ahead. Tears in her eyes, though none fell. It was all her fault. She watched, and she watched, her eyes following her every move, it was all her fault.. How did this get here. How much did everyone see? She was quickly brought out of her stupor realizing half the room was now watching her with looks of pity, or horror, and sadness. She couldn't stand it. She lifted her head up, her eyes finding Beverly's before she started to shake, everything finally starting to hit her. She struggled not to cry as her friend's eyes locked with hers and a sob escaped her chest. Tearing her gaze from the room, she fled through the doors, the pain creeping in, leaving a room full of an entirely silent staff, the only sound was that of the Chief ripping into Derek as he found the controller…

A/N: Did I make up for it? That took me 4 hours to write!!! It was nearly 5000 words!! Now PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! I deserve at least 10 reviews for a chapter like that!! See you soon!


	11. Chapter 11

_**Changes: For Better or Worse**_

_A/N: I know. Its been 3 months and 10 days…I am a truly horrible person. ( It was never supposed to wait this long. I don't even have an excuse… I am so so so sorrryyy!!! _

_This is dedicated to all of you who were so patient in waiting for me!_

……………………………………………………………………………….

_Chapter 11_

The room broke out into an uproar upon Meredith's frenzied exit. Nurses and doctors alike standing up after the "movie" ended. Suddenly the cold heartless Dr. Grey was being seen in a new light. And that bothered them. It was easier to hate someone so nasty when they didn't have a reason to be nasty. Slowly the staff filtered out into the hall and back to their jobs mulling and gossiping over the newly revealed history of the notorious Meredith Grey. Soon the hall was emptied all for a select few. Derek and the Chief among them.

"Suspended? Richard you can't be serious! I'm the best neurosurgeon you have!" Derek's face was a mixture of rage and disbelief as he puffed out his chest a bit.

"Yes suspended! You should feel lucky I'm not firing your ass! I don't give a dam who the hell you are right now! Not to mention the fact that you are NOT my best neurosurgeon here! Meredith has surpassed you, even you can see that by now! But none of that matters! What you did was unforgivable! You humiliated her, you brought up Adam, and to top it all off you did it infront of the entire staff OF THIS HOSTPITAL!!!!" The Chief's voice rose steadily until he was all but screaming in Derek's face.

"You'll be lucky if you don't hear from her lawyers! Do you have any idea the lawsuit that she could put you and this hospital in? This could ruin the name of Seattle Grace all for a bit of revenge!"

"She broke my heart!" His lame excuse however was only met with more anger.

"It's been ten years and it was your fault anyhow! Get over it! Now get out of my hospital before I call security on you! I'll see you in three months! And if I so much as here of you stepping in this hospital or near Dr. Grey you will find yourself without a job at Seattle Grace PERMANENTLY!"

Without another word the Chief pushed through the exit, Derek having already scrambled through as well, his anger positively radiating.

…………………………………………………………………………………

The four of them sat there, vaguely aware of the argument going on between Derek and the Chief but they were soon snapped out of it as the doors slammed with their exits. None of them seemed to know exactly what to say. It was shocked to say the least. All of them just seemed to sit there in a daze until Izzie spoke up.

"I- I don't even know what to say.." Her voice quivered a bit with uncertainty.

"She was so different. A good different I mean. Not like now." It was George who had taken up the conversation now. "I mean here she always seemed so miserable, and sure she had her moments, but she never seemed so…happy. I always thought that she'd regret leaving here. But why should she have? Look how great her life was with that guy. No one deserves what happened to her."

"Figures something would screw up her life. God forbid she be happy.." Surprisingly it was Alex who had responded to George, his voice even more bitter than usual. "I don't know why she came back."

This comment seemed to set off a little alarm in Izzie's head.

"_Then why did you! Why did you come back if you hated it here so much?"_

"_Because I promised him I would!"_

"Because she promised him. I get it now." She had muttered it under her breathe but without the silence she was easily heard.

"What are you talking about?" George had given her a strange look and his curiosity got the better of him.

"When she first came back remember? I asked her why she came back. She said because she promised him she would. I didn't understand what she had meant. But it makes sense now. She promised Adam she'd come back and fix things with us." Said Izzie comprehension dawning on her face.

"Yea well she's doing a great job at that now isn't she?" It was the first Christina had said anything since the tape had ended. "Just came right back and started in on us."

"Christina…"

"No. Don't "Chrisitna…." Me! What I don't get is why bother pretending she even still cared about us then? Why come back if she obviously doesn't want to fix it! Why-"

"Because she does care about you."

All four heads whipped to the right to see Beverly standing there her eyes suspiciously red as if she had been crying.

"Yea sure" Scoffed Christina.

"She does. You saw the movie she named Emily after you, she even named you godmother."

"That doesn't prove anything. She was probably just high on Demerol."

"Do you want to know what you didn't see up there today? You didn't see the conversation after Emily was first brought home. I had never minded that she chose you, I still don't but Meredith always did find the need to ramble on about why she chose something even if it didn't require an explanation."

There were a few chuckles as they remembered Meredith's old habit.

"She told me that you used to be her person. That you were the person who she could call to drag a dead body across the floor if she needed you too. And that even though I would be her legal guardian if something happened to both her and Adam, that she need to know that Emily would have a person. That she would have someone that would take care of her no matter what, even if it was dragging a dead body across the floor. That's why she chose you as godmother. Because she trusted you to take care of her little girl if anything were to happen to the three of us. If that doesn't prove she cares about you all I don't know what does." Beverly ended quietly but her gaze never broke contact with Christinas until she finished.

"You don't know what the past 7 months has been like for Meredith. Adam hasn't even been dead a year but his death, it killed her. Don't get me wrong, it killed me too, he was one of my best friends, but she, she just snapped. She was forced to take a break from work but when she came back she was like this. Even I've been having trouble getting through to her lately. Emily is the only one she is normal with. But I'm sure you've noticed that by now." Bev's eyes gazed sadly over the now quiet group.

"I always thought she just hated us, and that's why she was so cold, so different." George's voice filled the room.

"I wish I could say it was that simple. Sometimes I wonder if she'll ever be the same. You only saw a glimpse of her and Adam. God I wish you could have met him, him and Emily, they were everything to her, and now she's taking every ounce of happiness she has and putting it towards Emily. I don't know what would happen if anything ever happened to Emily. I don't think she'd be able to live through it."

"Yea…" The four nodded their heads slowly, the day finally taking it's toll on them.

"I better go... I need to umm... go find Meredith and make sure she's alright. This is the first time she's really being forced to face it. She refused to ever even hear Adam's name before this... I'll talk to you all later I guess." With that Beverly gently passed through the exit as well, the four attending standing up silently making their way to the door.

…………………………………………………………………………………

The four made their way to the locker room and slowly changed into their street clothes, having cleared their schedules for the day's "meeting".

Heading towards the parking lot George and Izzie took off in their car, while Alex started his job down the road. Soon Christina was the only one left in the parking lot. She made her way towards her motorcycle which she had parked in the farthest lot hoping to avoid it getting hit by some idiot intern.

As she slowly approached her bike she heard sniffling and a couple of gasps. Normally she would have ignored it, she hated dealing with families and stupid sobbing weaklings, but something made her turn. Her heart stopped. Not far away was Meredith leaning against the hospital wall where no one could see her, her hands pressed flat against the wall her head looking downward.

Slowly Christina approached her, not sure what to do, saying the first thing to her mind.

"I missed you."

A strangled laugh interrupted Meredith's sobbing as she turned around placing her back against the wall and looked up at the sky still crying, her eyes squeezed shut.

"You - you're my best friend."

Meredith didn't look at her. Her sobs had quieted down but tears stilled rolled down her face.

" You were. You are my person, still I mean. And I'll still drag that body for you. We could make it Shepard's if you'd like."

Meredith turned her head to look at her, her eyes stilled held a tortured look, and tears still flooded her face, but her mouth had quirked slightly. And to Christina's surprise a few tears even made their way down her own face.

"I really really missed you Meredith."

Christina looked down not knowing what else to say, having never become this emotional for years. Looking back up she saw Meredith's mouth open slightly and prepared herself for the emotional anger and yelling to come…

"I missed you too."

_To be continued…_

_A/N: So how was that? Decent? This was one of my favorite chapters to writer but I didn't think it was my best. So R&R!! Review review review!!! PLEASE!!_


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